Dear friend,
For years, I kept telling myself I’d show up more authentically in my business “once I felt ready.”
But there were entire areas of my own work that I avoided.
Things I deeply believed in. Things I taught my clients privately, but avoided saying into the microphone.
I put off recording podcast episodes on sexism, trauma, and toxic people because I was scared of the backlash.
I worried I'd lose followers. Get criticized. Have people tell me I'd gone too far.
My brain had a detailed list of everything that could go wrong.
I dreamt about the business I wanted to run – where I could freely talk about the things I cared about most – and kept waiting to feel ready.
Spoiler: I never felt ready.
Eventually, I just got willing.
Because I was exhausted from constantly editing myself. And there was a disconnect between the business I was building and the one I actually wanted.
I realized that the cost of staying quiet was greater than the risk of upsetting people.
And once I started speaking up, I did upset a few people. But I didn’t die.
I handled it. And that made me more willing to speak up on the next thing. And the next.
And that allowed me to create the version of my business I’d been dreaming of. And to reach new people who resonated with what I really believed.
But if I had kept waiting to be ready? I’d be waiting forever. Because that’s the order of operations. Action comes before confidence – not the other way around.
Asking for what you want and telling the truth about how you feel have a ripple effect. The more you speak up, the more confident you become. And the more things you want to speak up about.
The life you want is on the other side of the things you haven’t said yet.
So let me ask you this: what is staying quiet costing you? Does the risk – whether that’s hearing “no,” someone disagreeing with you, or losing a few followers – really justify that cost?
If not, you need to check out Speak Up! before it closes.
Picture a Tuesday, three months from now.
Same job, same partner, same in-laws. Except you speak up for what you want.
Your coworker takes credit for your idea, again. This time, you calmly say "Actually, I raised that last week," and claim the recognition you deserve.
That night, your partner asks what's for dinner, and instead of just resentfully making it, you say "I'd love it if you handled dinner tonight."
Your mother-in-law brings up hosting the holidays again, and you say you can't this year, without twenty minutes of justifying why.
You are fully capable of becoming the woman who says what she means and asks for what she wants. You’ve just never been shown the way.
That is what we’re doing inside Speak Up! – 10 weeks of live coaching where you'll identify where you've been biting your tongue (and why), rewire your thoughts in real time, and start speaking up for what you want.
You’ll walk away knowing exactly how to have the hard conversations you’ve been avoiding and go after what you want – proving to your self-doubts, criticisms, and inner dialogue that you are, in fact, worth it.
Doors close Sunday, October 4, at 11:59 pm ET.
Mindset win of the week:
Trisha shared what became possible for her once she started embracing thought work and speaking up for herself:
“My relationship with my parents has drastically improved.
I take more risks in my work because I know that the only thing I'm afraid of is my own thoughts if I fail.
I show up in challenging interpersonal relationships in a way that feels authentic and empowered. As a result, my relationships are more gratifying and liberating.”
What you’re loving this week:
A few weeks ago, I asked you to share what you’re reading and loving. Here are a few of your favorite recent reads:
I’d love to feature your faves in an upcoming newsletter. Reply to this email and tell me what podcasts, shows, products, or indulgences you’re loving right now.
Here’s what’s on the podcast this week:
UFYB 531: Coaching Hotline – The Emotion You're Really Resisting (Behind a Hard Diagnosis)
What if the hardest part of accepting a painful reality isn't the reality itself, but the feeling you're afraid is waiting on the other side? In this Coaching Hotline, I coach a listener who can't bring herself to learn more about her mother's cognitive impairment diagnosis, and why acceptance isn't something you can research your way into.
UFYB 532: Anti-Aging Is Not a Thing
We are all going to age, so why are women constantly sold the idea that aging is something to fight, prevent, or fix? I'm unpacking why "anti-aging" is an impossible goal and how the pressure to look younger keeps you busy monitoring yourself instead of living your actual life.
Think a friend would like this newsletter? Send them this link and they can get on the list!
That's all for now – see you next week!
Kara
