Dear ,
You're exhausted and you need help, but you don't say so.
You want your partner to romance you, but you passive-aggressively hint at it instead of saying it.
You really don’t want to go on vacation with your family , but you just claim to be really busy and then go anyway when that doesn’t get you off the hook.
And then there's the longer-game version: the thing you actually want to be doing with your life that you've already decided is impossible, so you've stopped letting yourself want it at all.
I did this for years. I’d joke about how I was going to quit the law to become a life coach – laughing it off, never saying it like I meant it.
But it wasn't a joke. It was the thing I desperately wanted – and had already decided wasn't available to me.
When you decide something is off the table, you may think you’re only removing that one option from your future.
But in fact, you’re putting yourself in limbo.
It’s like when you really want to eat ice cream, but you don’t let yourself. So you end up binging on frozen yogurt instead, and then you feel gross because you ate so much more than your body wanted because you never felt satisfied.
When you won’t admit to yourself what you really want, when you tell yourself that what you want is impossible, you’re cutting off communication with the part of you that has dreams, aspirations, goals, and imagination.
So it’s no surprise that life starts to feel pretty blah.
So if you have been feeling burn out, if you feel dulled, if you feel like you’re just going through the motions, I want you to reflect on the wants and desires you’ve stopped letting yourself want.
We'll be going much deeper on this in future newsletters, but for now, I just want you to take notice.
What have you been telling yourself is impossible for you - and how do you feel when you take what you really want off the table?
Mindset win of the week:
Sylvia shared what happened when she started speaking up for what she really wanted:
“One of my biggest achievements was asking for a large raise, which then led to a new job that was more than 2x my salary. Instead of talking myself out of it, I instead wrote down all of my achievements from previous years. I then gathered up the courage to ask for a substantial raise and they did give me some, but not all, that I asked for. During the back and forth which lasted about 3 months, I was simultaneously looking for new opportunities. Eventually I found an opportunity that guaranteed more than 2x what I was making and a better work/life balance.”
What I’m loving this week
Whispr Flow is one of the few AI technologies that feels like it’s not replacing anyone’s labor other than my own. This lets you dictate to your computer or your phone with very high accuracy (it even knows when to use bullet points or parentheses without you telling it to).
I use it for communicating with my team, giving feedback, sending texts, and brain dumping for writing projects. It’s a game changer for those of us who type all day and are heading for finger arthritis by our 50s.
Find out the next steps to begin or expand your life as a coach in one hour.
If you’re curious about becoming a coach (whether you haven’t let yourself want it out loud or you’re shouting it to anyone who will listen) …
Or you’re already coaching, but you get caught up in your head or you worry a lot about whether you can actually help your clients …
Coach-Curious Masterclass is your chance to get the clarity you need on your future as a coach in just one hour.
You’ll learn the traits, skills, and beliefs that make a great coach – and how to avoid the biggest challenges coaches face in getting clients the results they want.
You’ll walk away knowing the next steps to begin, succeed, and grow as a coach.
We start tomorrow, Friday June 26 at 12 p.m. ET.
Here’s what’s on the podcast this week:
503: Coaching Hotline: Sibling Rivalry & the Comparison Trap & When Your Child Has a Chronic Illness
Sibling comparison, chronic illness anxiety, and family stress – this Coaching Hotline episode traces all of it back to the same source: your thoughts. I break down why rivalry and resentment come from your own patterns, and why parenting a sick child feels so overwhelming when you believe you're supposed to control outcomes you can't.
504: Being Joyful Anyway: A Conversation with Kate Bowler
I'm talking with Kate Bowler — Duke professor, bestselling author, and podcast host — about why happiness is overrated and how joy actually works. We get into microjoys, the bittersweet ache that coexists with hard seasons, and why accepting life's limits is what makes space for feeling alive.
Think a friend would like this newsletter? Send them this link and they can get on the list!
That's all for now – see you next week!
Kara
