A few years before she died, my mom moved into a one-bedroom apartment. It was mostly clean and tidy whenever we came to visit. So when the time came, we thought it would be manageable. We were wrong. Over the years, she had rarely let anything go. Behind the closet doors hung racks and racks of clothes, many unworn in years. Kitchen cabinets were stacked with pots and plastic storage containers. In the garage sat bulk orders of tissues and hot sauce. Each item, on its own, wasn't unreasonable. The aggregate proved overwhelming. I've heard this story again and again, including from you. Sharon, a reader from Texas, downsized her parents' home and then cleared out her father-in-law's after he died. "So much of it hadn't been used in years. So I decided that we wouldn't do the same thing to our children." Sharon spent six months looking over the objects in her home. Each day, she sold, donated or tossed something. "It was liberating," she says. Letting go of some of your stuff, or not buying it in the first place, can bring immediate benefits. Clutter is linked to stress and anxiety, even depression. It's also hard on our world. Each product we buy, on average, accounts for roughly 6.3 times its weight in carbon emissions. If letting go of so much stuff is good for us, then why is it so hard? "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning," a best-selling book by Margareta Magnusson, offers an interesting way to help. Here's how to be happier with less stuff, and better belongings: What is Swedish death cleaning? Döstädning, or Swedish death cleaning, isn't about clearing out closets. It's about rethinking your relationship with things. Rather than making do with less, it's about getting more from the things that make you happy. Your loved ones can receive what they might like before you go, relieving them of the burden of cleaning up once you're gone. Why do we hold on to our stuff? Death cleaning happens to agree with scientists' understanding of our relationship with things and why we're loath to part with them. Decades of research have shown that we subconsciously see our possessions as physical extensions of ourselves. Losing them feels like an amputation because in our minds it is. This can veer into pathology such as hoarding. But for most of us, of course, a degree of attachment is healthy. Things acquired for status are associated with more loneliness and less happiness than things acquired for their beauty, utility or association with positive experiences and social relationships. How does death cleaning work? - Start with the easy stuff — not photographs, personal papers and letters.
- There's no rush, but start now and at any age.
- Include your loved ones in the process and share your stories.
- Keep the things that make you happy.
Check out my column to learn more about the stories we tell about stuff — and the benefits of changing the narrative. To read the full column, click here. |
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